Trains.....

Toddlers are full of joy and Jordan was no different. He loved trains.....I mean LOOOOOOVVVEEED Trains! We, of course, thought it was so cute this obsession with Thomas the Train. I mean who didn't love those sweet stories with great morals? Thomas had friends, he was a hard-working engine, and when he got in trouble, he owned up to it. Jordan however may have taken this train thing to a new level. The way Jordan played paralleled the tracks that those trains rolled on. He played along side of his peers, I am not using the word friends here you notice. His play crashed harder and louder than most runaway trains in the cowboy movies! He moved faster than most trains too, not caring about who he ran into (oh sorry Nana, have you always been there?) or knocked out on the way to wherever he was going. Trains and there tracks run parallel still in Jordan's life!

What I did think was strange was Jordan sleeping on his nest of trains. Do kids really do this? I thought only chickens put things underneath them when they slept. That has got to be so uncomfortable-although I never did get around to trying it-I knew if I lost an earring in bed and slept on it, I felt it and it wasn't comfortable! So, Thomas, Edward, Annabelle, Gordon, Diesel, Percy, and the conductor all slept peacefully under a little boy in striped overalls and a conductor hat. It was a sweet picture my little guy laying there peacefully, is blonde hair laying smooth on an angelic face full of dimples. (He has three, two when he smiles, and one right under his eye). When the trains were in the station all was quiet.

Another interesting thing Jordan did early on, was park under the couch. I don't mean just the trains, I mean all of Jordan and his trains. Now this would not be so strange if Jordan was under a couch say with those pretty claw feet that held it up off of the ground. No, Jordan held the couch up off of the ground. Or the couch held Jordan down? "What are you doing?" I would ask him. To which he would reply;

Nothing

"Why are you under the couch?" I would ask.

I like it!

This was not a futon, or light couch, nor was it a hide-a-bed, but just a normal three cushioned couch. Heavy enough that two men had to move it, but I could push it around myself. But here was my little guy laying underneath with the weight of it on top of him. Okay...

At this point he was around two years old, so we hadn't done preschool, we did go to MOPS, where I was called in to get him or calm him down often. I did have great friends who "let" us come for play dates  We had a great family structure, with Grammy and Papa, cousins, and Aunts and Uncles close by. Grammy would watch Jordan for us. He was a handful, but she loved him. But this is when I began to really notice things were clearly different. Here is where I was really blessed too, you see I was the coordinator of a PT, OT , and SLP Rehab Unit for the hospital in our city. So, I had these wonderful people to ask "Is this normal?" I remember on OT in particular who I would go to for advice. She was amazing! I told her about the couch, the trains, climbing the walls, the meltdowns, and she asked "Is he autistic?" To which I replied "Autistic? No, he talks" (Looking back, the misconceptions I had or misinformation is why the Autism Awareness Month is so important!) I think she laughed...as I surely still looked puzzled. We began a journey that would lead to learning about Sensory Processing Disorder. She recommended I read the book "The Out of Sync Child", by  Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A. I highly recommend it too! I cried as I read this book, she described Jordan in so many ways, and helped me to understand a piece of my son. I love her introduction now:

Sensory integration dysfunction, now known as Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), is not a new problem. It is a new definition of an old problem.
SPD can cause a bewildering variety of symptoms. When their central nervous systems are ineffective in processing sensory information, children have a hard time functioning in daily life. They may look fine and have superior intelligence, but may be awkward and clumsy, fearful and withdrawn, or hostile and aggressive. SPD can affect not only how they move and learn, but also how they behave, how they play and make friends, and especially how they feel about themselves.
- Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A.

Did I know he had high functioning autism yet? No way!! Did I know he was different? Yes! Parents, here is where I will tell you to go with your gut. If you are thinking something is a little "off" don't ignore it. Don't panic either!! Embrace it, learn about it, learn how to see it as a gift. Yes, I will get to the 'valley's", and I do have a brighter view right now because I am sharing hope!

The train is still running in our house! Sometimes, we still have to tell Jordan to slow down and pull his engine into the wheelhouse. He  will stop, take a breath, sometimes cock his head to one side and clench if he is really steamed, (LOL), but he understands and gets that train quieted. Sometimes, he even just rolls his eyes and parks it! And we still have that Rubbermaid tote full of Thomas and friends stored away for future generations. I treasure those trains and what they taught our family about ourselves, our journey, and my son.

Till the next station....

Kim