Prepare......

"Prepare Here" this is gonna be hard Jordan!

Hurry up, No time to mess around, and We need to leave now are phrases we try not to use in our home! Time is needed in our house when we are going to do something new, head out the door, have people over, do chores....or get off that amazing video game. 

If you have a child with Aspergers, ADD, ADHD, or other SED, you probably know the key to getting to the next item on the daily to do list is transition time. Jordan, is now a young man heading into his senior year of high school. I think it was in pre-school we figured out how much time he needed. Since he could read both analog and digital at two and a half, it was fairly easy to let him know the time. If he was watching Thomas, I could say "when Thomas is over we are going to..." But I had to stop the video, get down and look him in the eyes, then let him know so he would acknowledge me! Time consuming for sure! I remember so many times doing this, and Jordan raising his right eyebrow, and smiling with those dimples with that brain thinking...technicality, where is the technicality here? If he could think of something I missed so he didn't have to stop what he wanted to do, I had to start the transition over. Sometimes it didn't work, and you know how much fun it is to pick up your child mid meltdown when you are trying to move from one task to another. At MOPS, church, pre-school. People would say "you need to spank him more"! or "Discipline that kid"! We would all be in tears by the time we made it home.

One thing I learned never to do was to bargain with Jordan. But I did make a very useful chart. I call it my "If and Then" Chart. If you pick up the toys, then you can have your trains. If you throw a fit, then you will lose this privilege. From the time my kids were really little we used the "If and Then". I had my kids involved during the process of the making of the chart for both positive rewards, and negative consequences. I found I just needed to have them read the chart when an "If' happened. No yelling, and no emotion from me for them to feed off of. I made the first one out of poster board and let the kids put stickers on it. We added and took away from that chart often, as the behaviors changed and as needed. I also made the "when and then" When its time to go to bed....Then this is what we do. No nagging! Did I have to redirect? Absolutely!! But for me, and a few others, this has made transitions so much easier!

Now Jordan has had to learn new transitions. From teaching swimming lessons to five year old kids, to teaching 8 year old kids. Being at school 7 hours a day to being at a job for 8 hours a day. Orientation was so hard!! He had to be perfect at the job before he even started! So I logged into YOU TUBE and looked up life-guarding, and looked up Swimming coaches. After about twenty minutes of what the job "looked and felt like" on the computer the zing went out of his anxiety. I had him take a minute and breathe, think about what you know. Think about being at the pool and what you saw your life guards do. What did your swimming teachers do? Write these down, and meditate. (more on meditation later). One of his Karate teachers told Jordan what would turn out to be one of the all time great pieces of advice, "When you know you have to do something hard, prepare here!" As he was telling Jordan this he reached out and put his hand on Jordan's chest over his heart with such sincerity and seriousness. "You are responsible for your heart and mind, Prepare here!" Jordan remembered those wise words during this last transition too.

Prepare here......over your heart, in your being.
Meditate on the Word of God, fill your heart with peace. 

A favorite verse for Jordan is;

Philippians 4:6

New International Version (NIV)

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 He came home from Orientation today with the biggest smile on his face! He made three new FRIENDS, (yes I do bold that word) loved his time with the team, and is ready to be the best he can be. Life-guarding is hard, I am not sure he was totally prepared for the physical and mental toughness. But the instructors were amazing with him and all the youth. They made sure they all understood, and didn't leave that pool until they could all do the work-there were 17, which is a big group in his class. He did take time to talk to the instructors and explain that he was an Aspergers kid so they were aware in his words "Just in Case". I am so proud of how Jordan used the skills he has learned to take time, advocate for himself, breathe, pray, and "prepare here".